Friday, November 04, 2005

Citizen Axl?

My hometown Calgary Flames are making a stop in Vancouver tomorrow night to play the Canucks. The Flames are currently in the middle of a let's-ruin-last-year's-magic campaign, so they're in dire need of a win against a famous rival.

Naturally I'm torn with who to cheer for. Do I cheer for my adopted hometown, which has given me great sushi, great beaches and endless downpours of bone-chilling rain? Seriously, what's with this cold november rain? Don't make me concede anything to a guy named Axl.

Or do I go with my gut and root for Iggy, the Kipper, and I'm sure there's a guy in there called Rosebud.

To settle the debate, I ran a "simulation" of sorts, and it generated just what I expected: with penalties off, aggression maxed out, no icing, no offsides and on rookie-level play, Vancouver is no match for my hometown boys. A 25-2 rout. Go Flames!

Update: Alright, so a 1-0 win is not rout in the typical sense of the word, and the game was lacking in the hundreds of grossly illegal bodychecks that characterized my simulation, but the message was still there.


Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, you don't have access to the only true hockey simulator. 'Hockey' for the NES suggests the pink team for the win.

Anonymous said...

p.s Smog alerts rule!


Lawyerlike said...

It's best just to assume that the air you're breathing in Ontario is indefinitely polluted.

So go relax and take a dip in the clear, pristine and delicious fresh waters of Lake Ontario.

Anonymous said...

My Brita Jug is now a smoldering heap of twisted plastic and pain. As a sidenote, the water tastes like both happy, and sad.

p.s I see the black family on the Amazing Race is actually named 'Black Family'. I guess they thought it'd be best to just skip the middleman for people who talk about the show.