Summer sundries

"Returning" is a big theme this summer (see here and here) and since moving into a new apartment, finishing second year law and getting back internet after a week in the lurch, I feel recharged. I have "returned," if you will.

It's been my tradition to compile a snappy list of things I've learned after each term of law school. One week out of second year and I can barely tell IP from Magnum PI. (FYI, Selleck could patent, trademark and copyright that thing if he wanted). So listing ten things from the past few months seems a bit hard. In lieu of that, I'll offer these three:

1. The number of laughs a Law Revue receives is positively related to the number of hours you get a liquor licence for.

2. If you bring in a 1.5 litre bottle of Coke into a 3 hour exam and open it up when things have reached their quietest, make sure it hasn't previously been shaken - a lot. (This didn't happen to me, but provided a welcome diversion amidst an IP exam.)

3. If you count articling, we're technically only halfway to becoming lawyers, not two-thirds. Damn.

But now summer's afoot, so any law worries can wait for four months. In the meantime here are some things I've got going:

I just signed up for a running clinic. As my friend and writer of the Fluff to Buff blog noted, the first few pounds of weight loss come from your wallet. Without money on the line, there's little incentive to keep up an exercise regimen.

With only four teams left on the Amazing Race and Ray and Yolanda still in the game, I have a 1 in 4 chance of scoring 100 bucks. This still won't cover the surgery to erase from my memory last week's episode where racer Barry, aged 61, announced how the race was affecting his sex life. Ewww.

I'll also be checking out Portuguese sensation Seu Jorge at the upcoming Jazz Festival. (I'm assuming he's a sensation, but so far he's the only Portuguese singer I know, and he does David Bowie covers.) If he sounds familiar, then you're obviously a Wes Anderson fan, and you're obviously cool.

Shoot first, cross-examine later

For readers not in law school, there's a specific way that we law students study. Your course notes are great, but the real help is in someone else's notes, specifically, things called CANs - "Condensed Annotated Notes." A good CAN synthesizes the facts in the most efficient way, and sums up the main point of the case - the "ratio" - simply but correctly.

That's a good CAN. A great CAN does all that with a Western drawl and a wicked sense of humour. While flipping through a CAN for my Intellectual Property class, I came across this summation of a trademark case, where the Gucci family was suing their estranged son for using their name on his own products and where this particular law student was trying to make things interesting. Some excerpts:

Meubles Domani's v. Guccio Gucci Spa

Facts: Now, Paolo Gucci had split off from the rest of the Gucci clan some years back. After settlin' down, he figgered he could make him some money offa that famous name. So, he set about making him some furniture to sell - Gucci style. Now, the rest of the Guccis weren't too happy about ol' Paolo using their trademark on his chairs, and set about tryin' to put a stop to all the nonsense...
One thing was for sure... ol' Paolo was banking on gettin' some of that Gucci consumer goodwill...
Well, Paolo lost this one.

Apparently I'm not the only law student taken to watching a Western while studying.

...ruining the very pants I was trying to return

I don't regularly devote time on here talking about our canine friends (OK, I never do), but that's because I've never had a story about dogs worth relating like this.

I was waiting at the bus stop on the way to my Intellectual Property (IP) class. Naturally, I had on my headphones listening to the latest, hippest music, when suddenly I felt something jump up on me. I look down to see a rascally dog, obviously hyper from his run through the park. Both of us somewhat startled, he runs back to his master, and I go on a-listenin'.

It's only a minute or two later when I connect the dots and think, "wait, that dog came through a park, and it rained not too long ago." Yup, not only do dogs have a first-rate sense of smell, they also have an impeccable knack for knowing exactly where to apply mud to pants in order to make the most embarrassing implications. And whatever you are picturing, it looked even worse than that. He must have had enormous paws.

I had to make a split-second decision to run back home and change pants. But what I kept thinking was that if the dog had come along just a few moments later than he did, the bus would have been right in front of me and I would have had no choice to but to get on.

I can only imagine the conversation that would have taken place after:

"What class do you have?"

"IP."

"Looks like you did a lot more than that!"