Off-topic sentences

Each time I'm home for the holidays, I have to spend time going through old things and discarding what I no longer need or that which takes up too much space. This time I came across my collection of undergrad essays, from English, Economics and Spanish Literature.

Man, I hope my law school essays don't sound like these. I've reprinted the worst of the first sentences I found, and editorialized with what a professor was likely thinking:

"The eponymous hero of Beowulf is more than simply a good warrior." Take out 'eponymous' and you've got nothing.

"To answer the question of whether or not British industrialization would have floundered without colonial possessions at the end of the eighteenth century, we need to consider its full implications." Um, duh?

"Interestingly, the investigation of certain theatrical motivations of playwright Ben Jonson begins with a discussion about economics." The first word must be a typo.

"In both Carlyle’s Sartor Resartus and Brontë’s Wuthering Heights, a multilayered narrative structure is implemented to bring a desired order to complex events." Zzzzzzzzz.

"El carácter mayor de La Casa de Bernarda Alba es muy desilusionado." (Trust me, this observation, though lovely sounding, is obvious and pedestrian.)

"Ostensibly, a king, a prince, a lover and a monster have little in common." Actually, I think I need to hear this one out.