Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Ah yes, the AJBCPC

Take the time to brush up on last year's Constitutional poem folks, because I've got another one for you. Yes, once again it's the Annual Joel Bakan Constitutional Poetry Contest, which is neither a contest with any discernible prize beyond publication (click here for the original article) - nor is it, as far as I can tell, even read by professor Joel Bakan.

Anyway, my entry this year is sort of an unofficial sequel to last year's poem, tracing budding love to a failed relationship. All written with a dirty mind of course.

For those of you who've taken Federalism, hopefully you'll get the jokes. For those of you who haven't, I've taken the liberty of providing informative links, thereby having the dual effect of exhausting any humour you might have found and simultaneously reaffirming your opinion of me as a nerd.


The Constitutional Cuckold

What you call concern, ‘tis emergency,
For matters of love are ancillary
To naught. Whither once was paramountcy
Now you deign not, gaze yonder, to mount me!
Whose pith and substance hath int’rested thee,
Made me incidental, torn symmetry
Asunder? Why forsake my dominion,
Central for so long, for province of sin?
But hark! Ye o’erlook a double aspect,
Mine own trade and commerce with fairer sex.
Long hath I played Zellerbach to pristine
Waters of yours. Now I turn to doctrine.
I’m held immune by Ninety-One’s success,
While thee made whore of multiple access.
Previously: From John A. to Connie

Two winning poems in two years. And no, I haven't learned any lesson from the Matrix films, so expect a trilogy.

1 comment:

dirtybird said...


Thank You from the bottom of my heart. I am very new to constitutional poetry even though I have been a fan for over 12 years.

I had tried two other so-called poetry contests but I was often offended by the content. Who knew Margaret Atwood was still so popular?!

Then I found the AJBCPC. Thank you for the standards that you have. You have not only helped me see the beauty of the constitution, but you also helped me get a date!

Thank you again AJBCPC.

Sincerely yours,