Revue Reviewed

Last night I finally got to sit in the audience for a Law Revue. The show had one real disadvantage over last year's in that the theatre wasn't licensed for drinking - but thankfully, the resourcefulness of an audience that can order and down pitchers at a nearby bar during a 15 minute intermission and a terrific cast managed to overcome that issue.

Speaking as one who knows just how much goes into such a production, I think it was fantastic. My personal favourite skit of the night was "Charlie v. The Chocolate Factory," a hilarious trial of occupier's liability. Particularly the testimony of Augustus Gloop:

I looked for a sign, caution, achtung! But zere vas nozzing!


(Yes the photo is horrible quality, but I was laughing pretty hard when I took it.)

The video I shot for the show with friends Thom and Jeremy - my one contribution - was also extremely well received - a bonus. It's amazing what this Mac's editing software can do, even if my Alfonso Cuaron/Children of Men-inspired tracking shot didn't quite have the emotional impact of that masterpiece. I'll see if I can get it uploaded here.

Exit cat from bag

If you mill around any Canadian law school, you're likely to find a few copies of a certain magazine amidst law firm pamphlets and unsold Law Revue 2006 DVDs (place your order below!) Your natural instincts would tell you that any free magazine is perhaps not worth the paper it is printed on, but thankfully, that's not the case with National. The CBA's in-house magazine's articles are always topical, and particularly helpful to lawyers and law students alike. Plus, I always liked how they publish in English and French in the same issue - if only for how it irks those out West who hope the French language cannot traverse mountains.

Now I have another reason to like the magazine - I'm in it! Or rather, to my great surprise this morning, on it. The cover. Full page.



A while back I was interviewed by Amy Jo Ehman for the mag about this here blog, and why law students in particular blog. I, of course, imagining that the handful of daily visitors who access this site might jump to a whole two handfuls of visitors, leapt at the chance. And, I'm quite pleased with how it turned out. It's not too often that somebody recalls things you said months ago positively. (I also like the title of the piece, LL.Bloggers, which is a pun I'm surprised I hadn't yet employed.)

The guilty pleasure of this whole thing, of course, was that I got to do my first photoshoot. (As if subsequent offers of further shoots are yet to come.) Prominent Vancouver photog Robert Karpa arranged the shoot near the Vancouver waterfront at a streetside cafe - which, don't know you, is where I write every post... Thankfully, the area around Canada Place is a hotbed of pent-up cruise-ship tourist activity, so being photographed like that wasn't such a rare sight.

Anyway, hope you enjoy the piece. I regularly visit the other sites mentioned in the article, so it's nice to be in good company. And perhaps this whole thing might bolster my claim below and elsewhere, that I really sorta look like R.E.M.'s lead singer circa 1983.

Summer sundries

"Returning" is a big theme this summer (see here and here) and since moving into a new apartment, finishing second year law and getting back internet after a week in the lurch, I feel recharged. I have "returned," if you will.

It's been my tradition to compile a snappy list of things I've learned after each term of law school. One week out of second year and I can barely tell IP from Magnum PI. (FYI, Selleck could patent, trademark and copyright that thing if he wanted). So listing ten things from the past few months seems a bit hard. In lieu of that, I'll offer these three:

1. The number of laughs a Law Revue receives is positively related to the number of hours you get a liquor licence for.

2. If you bring in a 1.5 litre bottle of Coke into a 3 hour exam and open it up when things have reached their quietest, make sure it hasn't previously been shaken - a lot. (This didn't happen to me, but provided a welcome diversion amidst an IP exam.)

3. If you count articling, we're technically only halfway to becoming lawyers, not two-thirds. Damn.

But now summer's afoot, so any law worries can wait for four months. In the meantime here are some things I've got going:

I just signed up for a running clinic. As my friend and writer of the Fluff to Buff blog noted, the first few pounds of weight loss come from your wallet. Without money on the line, there's little incentive to keep up an exercise regimen.

With only four teams left on the Amazing Race and Ray and Yolanda still in the game, I have a 1 in 4 chance of scoring 100 bucks. This still won't cover the surgery to erase from my memory last week's episode where racer Barry, aged 61, announced how the race was affecting his sex life. Ewww.

I'll also be checking out Portuguese sensation Seu Jorge at the upcoming Jazz Festival. (I'm assuming he's a sensation, but so far he's the only Portuguese singer I know, and he does David Bowie covers.) If he sounds familiar, then you're obviously a Wes Anderson fan, and you're obviously cool.

Yet still snubbed by Oscar

Big day for Law Revue: the February show got a big write-up in this month's Legal Eye. Amongst the accolades: "This year’s Law Revue was a huge success and no article or photo will do it any justice. It truly was a night of hilarity..."

If you want to read the whole issue, a PDF for March is available here. In lieu of that, here is an article/photo which won't do it any justice.



As well, our DVD's came back from the copier and are now ready for pickup. This project was definitely a labour of love - and also blood, sweat, tears, raised voices, frozen computers, etc.

For any who still wish to buy one, email ubclawrevue at gmail dot com. I'm personally pleased that I got to record a director's commentary, one I'm sure is a good future contender the Onion's "Commentary Tracks of the Damned" column.

Plus Revue Legale

Law Revue had its second and final night last night, and while the crowd took a while longer to win over than the first night, it still ended a success. I'll throw up some pictures here. Later when I'm working on the DVD, I'll post some captures and videos from the actual performance.



The stage and screen where we projected our slideshows and short videos. Those corn stalks were left over from some show in November, (what, I do not know) but they proved useful for our Wizard of Oz sketch with Scarecrow, artfully played by Thom.



Backstage. Where are props were stored, actors hastily learned their lines, and where I had to constantly tell my actors to be quiet during the show...



... to wit. We actually ran an ad for the DVD during the show which proved to be almost too funny, as some audience members were later surprised to learn that the product did, in fact, exist.



The props table. Look closely and you can see parts of Tin Man, a devil costume, Dracula's cape, and a polish sausage. I'd rather not describe how the latter prop was employed.



I tried to document all parts of the process. Here's our sound setup, which our technician described as using up all available cables in the building. How's that for low-budget theatre!



Downtime before the show.



The theatre. Ironically, you have to speak extra loud to properly project your voice, but when a joke falls flat, you can hear crickets dropping pins.



The set list. I don't know how many times this changed around before the actual show. As directors, you have to try to figure out which sketches are the weakest and allocate them appropriately. You can't just do like SNL and throw all the bad stuff near the end, because our audience doesn't have the luxury of being able to turn off a TV and go to sleep.



Our amazing cast. Includes all three years of law students, including some that had factums due the next day. That's dedication.



The after party. That beer on the right actually turned out to be the worst tasting stuff I've ever had. And I lived in England.

Revue Legale

Had opening night of the Law Revue last night - the annual law school comedy show - and things went surprisingly well. I say surprisingly, because after months of writing and rewriting scripts, and three straight, long days of directing rehearsal, you naturally start to doubt if people will find anything funny.



Tonight is the second and final performance, and should boast an even bigger crowd that last night. I'll post more photos after it's over.

In the meantime, I'll just post this hilarious link which made up for me missing 24 last night.

Interstate 5 is no Yellow Brick Road

Lawyerlike: post-Seattle Edition. Made the drive down to the Emerald City with my favorite passenger yesterday, and discovered a faint sense of deja vu - I think the city planners for Vancouver left their schematics in the photocopy machine. I have an easier time finding six differences between panels of Slylock Fox.



I was, however, amazed by the parking rates for Downtown Seattle. 5 bucks for the day!? In Calgary that same spot would cost you at least... yup, a barrel of oil.

Took a walk around the Pike Place Market, and while I wasn't struck by any volleyed fish, I did catch this snapper:

"Hey, look, it's the original Starbucks. Now where's the final one?"

Who says Americans don't have the capacity for wit.



Law Revue is off to a promising start after nearly fifty people signed up at Clubs Day this past week. Hmm, that may just be enough actors to pull of a full-cast, law-themed, musical production of Les Miserables. Or not.

I vant to pimp your blood!

Love the engraving submissions people, keep 'em coming below. (Although W, you're ahead in the races, for you understand my Tap weakness.) Any Arrested Development quote would be welcome too, and you'll be able to transcribe them that much easier now that the second season DVD is on its way.

It's only a matter of weeks now till Law School Year 2: the Quickening. I fear the days of enjoyable reading might be over. No more witty judgments or stories about accidental amputations. I just can't imagine that the reading list for Corporations or Secured Transactions can be that exciting. It's like when Michael Moore asked a television producer why there wasn't a show about corporate criminals and heard in response, "Because no one would watch that show. But if that businessman took his shirt off and threw his cell phone at the camera... then we might have something."

Since once September rolls around and reading becomes a daily chore (but a character-builder, no doubt), I've decided to read one last ripping yarn, and I hear this Historian is good. Dracula not pathetically updated (also see here) for the MTV generation? I'm there.

Entertainment Weekly's review is a funny read for a couple reasons. First, they describe the book as "The Da Vinci Code for smart people" - I haven't read the Brown book, but thank you! Second, they love the book but decry the novel for its "slow parts." Excuse me? It's a book - it's all slow parts! I can imagine this reviewer thinking, "I love how this book has chapter stops just like a DVD, so I can fast forward to the action scenes."

The book's subject matter coincides nicely with preliminary writing I'm doing for this year's Law Revue. Without giving anything away regarding a certain (hilarious!) sketch, let's just say I'm exploring the interplay between history's most reviled bloodsuckers and... vampires. Har.

So after the Drac book, I'll return to the book I purchased immediately before starting law school, Dickens' Bleak House, because I saw that it was about lawyers. (I also saw its interminable length, explaining why I'm still reading it.) Speaking of Chuck, the new English version of the Oliver Twist trailer is up.

As for iPod epitaphs, I know if it were a tombstone, things would be easy:

"Here lies David St. Hubbins, and why not?"
"You feel that sums up your life?"
"No, it's the first thing I could think of. It doesn't sum up anything really."

Something tells me it's NSFW

The reviews have come pouring in... Alright, just one... And from a publication whose readership undoubtedly ranks far below that of even Guns & Ammo Weekly, or Horse & Hound. Nevertheless, last month's Law Revue gets a write-up in the latest issue of UBC Law's The Legal Eye, a paper with a mission statement of "keeping tabs on UBC Law and beyond." (As always, "beyond" neither bleeds nor leads, so it's cut.)

We turn to page 2 for an excerpt:

"Apparently the directors were told that it would be futile to even try and put on a show this year; however, I think that the new creative talent at school this year more than made up for that which was lost ... the cast and crew of this year's Law Revue put on a great performance. I'm already waiting for next year's show."

Good praise, and proof for the naysayers (see me, below) that didn't think it would turn out well. I would have preferred some juiciers adjectives, like "incandescent!" or "electrifying!" but hey, what can you do?

Tonight sees another wine and cheese function for the law school, where we get to hob-knob with Vancouver's elite law firms. The title is somewhat of a misnomer however, as the wine is not free, but made up for with the appearance of sushi. I have been told I've been developing something of an addiction to sushi as of late. I prefer to think of me as more akin to Jared of Subway fame, only as spokesman for the Japanese delicacy. Hmm, then again, I may develop a cultural backlash and subsequently languish in obscurity. Scratch that. I just likes my sushi!

The countdown to end of classes continues. Just one essay to finish before the end, a Law & Economics paper. I feel I owe to myself to do somewhat well, as I have a degree in one of the subjects. That's right, I already have a law degree, I'm just doing this the second time for kicks. The paper's topic needs to stem for a current legal issue, and incorporate economic theories. Any ideas?

Lastly, I thought I'd put up another in the continuing series of tabbing music that no one else cares to. This time 'round, the song is Eels' "I'm Going to Stop Pretending I Didn't Break Your Heart," (which is most definitely a nod to Wilco's fantastic song and film "I Am Trying to Break Your Heart.")

With capo on 1, it's verse: Emin, G, F#min, C x 3, then Emin, G, F#min, C, D, Emin. This little instrumental mystery was solved by none other than Thomas, fellow UBC Lawyer and constant purveyor of interesting websites and blogs. But try as you might, Thom, I still won't click on www.sailorsonline.com when you send it to me in class.

Cheeks will be missed

Quelle semaine! My first Law Revue is over, and it was fantastic. During three days of rehearsal, I probably spent a good thirty plus hours in a sweltering theatre. I still hate Cats, but I do have a deeper respect for the work put into theatre productions. I worked with some great people, upper years at the law school who I would have otherwise never talked with.

The best news is that the whole production was a huge success. We had record attendance and the crowd had a great time. Maybe that's not so tough when you pump them full of beer, but still, writing funny material is not an exact science. Thankfully, the sketches I wrote went over really well. I was particularly proud of the Weekend Update skit, where my friend Katie and I were co-anchors. As tragic as it sounds, you can get a helluva lot of laughs from a squirrel's suicide note.



Certainly one of the best parts of this whole law school experience, and I can't wait to do it next year.

Last Friday was also great, as I got to go to my first art exhibition opening. I had no idea what to expect, but having seen Closer the week before, I pictured twenty or so wine glass-clutching eclectic types waxing artistic over blurry photographs or off-colour paintings. Strangely, things weren't that far off. I've got to hand it to Vancouver, an art opening on a Friday night draws enough of a crowd to snake a lineup around an entire city block.

Inside the art museum things were incredibly swanky. Wine glasses, European dance music, and Narduar of Muchmusic fame, satisfying the eclectic personality requirement for the evening. I would have liked to talk to him, and congratulate him for outing the band Jet as AC/DC melody thiefs, but he was busy.

Anyway, reading week is just a few days away, when I can finally sit down and.... read. Nutty world indeed.

Permission to treat Wheeler as a hostile witness?

Aloha. The last few days have been less than stellar, (merely stell-ish) so I've kept busy a-readin' and a-writin'. I've polished off a couple sketches for this law revue production. I'm hoping all goes well next week, and that my attempts at humour come off as more Seinfeld than Banya.

This upcoming Saturday I'll be part of that salivating throng that tries to get U2 tickets. Truthfully, I'm as excited at the prospect of seeing show-opener Kings of Leon as I am Bono & Co. Hopefully a few of us can snag some tickets, which would cap off a pretty good year for concert-going. Wilco at the Orpheum, Death Cab at the Commodore, and that street performer on North Granville St. who only knew the middle section of "Stairway to Heaven" and repeated it ad nauseum. Rock on, intermittently!

Then, at the end of the month, us law folk get to do our first real moot. Actual judges (robes and all!) will be present to grade our objection-yelling skills and ability to get the proper inflection on "I want the TRUTH!" (which we can't handle until 3rd year). My co-counsel and I (Team Awesome) will be representing a pair of retirees whose waterfront paradise has been invaded by the evil Shellfish Corp. and their toxic spill. (This is UBC, where these facts represent the ultimate worst case scenario). I don't want to give away too much of our strategy, but don't act surprised if Captain Planet shows up on the witness list.

Shepherd #3's performance was so phoned-in

Sigh of relief. The other day came the fruition of a many-month plan to surprise my housemate with a visit by her best friend from across the country. Being notoriously bad with keeping secrets, this was a huge weight off my shoulders. (Again, sorry B for ruining your Christmas surprise a few years ago, but the bobsledding was still awesome and I do believe "Team Momentum" had a winning speed of 97 km/h.)

On other fronts, still writing for this comedy show which goes on in less than a month. I've got several sketches in the works, and I think they could be very funny. I'm learning some basic rules along the way: British accents make everything funnier. When you're not working with seasoned actors, keep slapstick to a minimum, as the results will likely not be pretty. If all else fails, make sure you keep a very long cane as a prop.

I'm really looking forward to this, though. It should be my first performance since my acting debut in the grade 2 Christmas pageant. If ever Shepherd #4 gave a more stunning performance, I have yet to see it.

Oh, and I also finally, successfully learned to play the Shins' "New Slang" on my acoustic, which is a great song, Natalie Portman's props notwithstanding. Next on the must-learn list are Bob Dylan's fingerpicking masterpiece "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright" and Modest Mouse's manic "Paper Thin Walls."

Expect an appearance from The Falconer

It's "callback" day amongst law firms, where they release the sword of Damacles and let you know if, indeed, you are firm material for the summer. I've been home most of the day, and so far, the phone has not rung. This can mean one of three things:

1) I didn't get the job. This is not the end of the world however, as it is still first year, and the chances of landing such a job are pretty slim. I can feel confident knowing that I got to a second round of interviews and made good contacts.

2) I got the job, they just haven't called and the above statement is BS.

3) Our phone company has finally realized they have not sent us a bill nor received payment in quite a while, and the silence of the telephone has less to do with the challenges of career moves and more to do with telecommunicative revenge.

Of course, the day has not been a complete loss. I've been madly scribbling down some material for the upcoming Law Revue. I've got a couple sketches in the works, and I figure the more you've got to work with the funnier things can be. Saturday Night Live usually bats a .500 when it comes to being really funny (add points for Will Forte or Fred Armisen's appearances, subtract many points for any hint of Jimmy Fallon).

In any case, it's great experience doing some more comedy writing. My script is looking awfully forlorn over there in the corner, so I must tend to it soon.

Far From the Madden Crowd

So on the advice of a few of you blogophiles and (though it is widely not recommended) on the spartan allure of the book's B&W cover, I have begun my Johnathan Strange book. Maybe due to its size, the time period (Napoleonic England), or its penchant for unnecessary, pompous, long-winded exhortations on minutiae common to British writers (and this last clause), but it reminded me of Henry Fielding's Tom Jones. This is odd, because a) it's hardly one of my favorites and b) it's hardly a book that defined a style. (Or maybe it did, but as far as I know it was all about a guy who thought he slept with his mother, only to be relieved and then screw around some more.) I suppose it's because Fielding's book (at 1200+ sex-filled pages) took up so much of my Restoration English Lit class a few years ago that it lingers in my mind.

Not that this style is a bad thing. I think recently I've been accustomed to really glib, cynical writing that is all too present on the internet. Ahem, Pitchfork. Even Dave Eggers, who I do admire, could drive you insane if you weren't in the mood. Anyway, enough book talk.

Today was, as expected post-memo, a slow day. I flipped on some football for that commentary I love so much (see far, far below. Wow I blog a lot.) Among the nuggets of wisdom I got from CBS' "expert" commentators was this one:

"Well, although the Jets didn't get any points on that drive, it was spectacular."

This reminded me a lot of three years previous, watching the Superbowl with some good buddies of mine and hearing John Madden deliver this utterly mystifying critique:

"That receiver did his best, trying to turn something... into something new."

Then I spent some hours of the day trying to write material for a comedy show put on by the law school each year. It'll be my first time writing such stuff, and I might (gasp) even get to act in some of it. I have no doubt much of this whole spectacle will be a crash and burn. But, I figure, if you do such things right, you might just create a dazzling fireball that people will talk about for some time. Cheers to that!