Thursday, December 29, 2005

Smith, Jones & Laika LLP

Some things to look forward to in la nouveau annee:

I'll be taking Intellectual Property law, which is sort of like the Arcade Fire of law school - hip, grants you a certain level of credibility, and an invaluable resource for learning about patent protection.

I've got a trip to the Big Apple later in the term, which, if it's anything like I've learned from watching the Apprentice, is a land ruled by Trump, where the cool, clean waters flow with Trump Ice, and the wind never blows above a toupee-tossing 5 km/hr. But seriously, I will force myself into a shot of Law & Order if the opportunity presents itself.

Of course, there's the annual Law Revue, which will be ramping up in the next few weeks. We've got a great band lined up, there's a DVD already in the works, and I still have to teach several of my actors how to speak Spanish... all for comedy, claro que si.

Then, later in May, I find myself hosting an issue of the online "Blawg Review." I recommend people see what it's all about on the site, and then you can see what an actual law blog is supposed to be, and how I've been fooling you all these months. All that blather about Ryan Adams? Yeah, we don't really cover him in law school.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Its you're prerogative

I don't know if it's simply the holidays or if there was a silent snicker amongst the eating, shooting and leaving crowd, but no one commented on the site's new banner, nor the fact that it was spelled incorrectly for nearly a week. For my part, I can only blame the dazzle of Photoshop, and the Baroque complexity of Edwardian Script font.

See the mistake here.

Speaking of feeling stupid, it's everyone's favourite year end list, the Least Essential Albums of 2005.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Can't beat a good de-tonguing

Some last minute additions to my yearly list of - as the French call them - "resistance pieces."

Between 13:50 and 19:48 of episode 1 of Ricky Gervais' podcast, where Ricky and Stephen Merchant learn of a billion dollar spacecraft complete with a banana dispenser, helmed by a suicidal monkey. Try not laughing.

King Kong de-tonguing a T-Rex. Like below, only updated with modern technological wizardry to be awesomer.

Martha Wainwright's amazing voice on "Bloody [expletive deleted] [expletive deleted]."

Sunday, December 18, 2005

It's a photo finish!

This Christmas brought a repeat of a classic hockey showdown not seen since the great Sega era of the early nineties. Back then, my brothers and I had discovered and exploited an AI error in NHLPA '93 that prevented the goalie... what am I saying, we were just that good. And with a final score of 146 to negligible, it prompted the question, could the effect be repeated on a new generation system?

In a match reminiscent of a Harlem Globetrotters and Washington Generals match, or even a David vs. Goliath scenario where the winner is more accurately determined by his power and slings were rightly barred - the game was a romp. The Flames ended with well over 200 goals to the Capitals' pitiful 0. Maybe penalties being turned off and AI skill being diminished helped somewhat, but who am I to know such things.

Obviously some things had changed since 12 years ago: the Caps had replaced the San Jose sharks as the league's worst team, the short side of the net trick didn't work and had to be replaced by the easy wraparound, (click to see how it's done!) and my brothers and I had changed from giddy children testing the limits of a video game to giddy grown men.

Some other fun facts: goals can be scored every 5 seconds, Jarome Iginla registered 13 hat tricks and commentator Harry Neale was heard to remark after the 172nd goal that "if the Caps put together a defence they can get back in this game."

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

IMHO 2005

If there's one thing in common amongst the cacophony of internet opinion, it's the confluence of year-end lists every December. And who am I to buck that trend? Well, I'll do it slightly. In keeping with last year's wildly popular year-end list, (subject to web statistics that will surely prove otherwise) I give you all of the best moments of the best of things from the last year. (Or until I get tired of tracking down links.)


This moment from Batman Begins. A sure contender for the Nobel Prize for Awesome.

Getting someone's opinion on Star Wars Episode III - when she had never seen the other five films: "Well, I had heard of this Luke fellow."

In The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, where Wallace realizes his scientific experiment - Hutch the Rabbit - is starting to display strikingly similar charactersitics: "I do fancy a bit of gorgonzoooooooooola!"

Vince Vaughn in Wedding Crashers discussing being tired: "Yeah, it could have been the soft mattress. Or the midnight rape. Or the nude gay art show that took place in my room last night. One of those three probably contributed to the lack of sleep."

In No Direction Home, where a Swedish reporter asks Bob Dylan to suck on his glasses. WTF?


Fiona Apple singing "Go out and sit on the lawn and do nothing / it's just what you must do / and nobody does it anymore" on "Waltz." I mean, why don't we do that more? With wireless connectivity I don't see any good excuses.

The cumulative yelps and howls of singer Jim James on My Morning Jacket's album Z, notably the Michael Jackson impersonation at the end of "Wordless Chorus."

Speaking of guttural intonations: that moment on B.R.M.C.'s album Howl where you realize you haven't heard any electric guitars, and you just might be OK with that.

The same sort of thing happened with Dylan. With the exception of "Desolation Row," all the alternative versions of songs on disc two of his No Direction Home CD are all superior to the originals. Isn't that some kind of horrendous production error? He's just lucky people idolized him already.

The trifecta of three great Ryan Adams albums could warrant a post of its own, making it hard to narrow down any one moment I liked. I guess one such time was when I was driving and my unapologetic love for this singer got the better of me and I had "My Heart is Broken" blaring out the windows to a perplexed audience. Guess nobody does hootenannies anymore.


Kate Winslet as a nun being caught in a doubly embarrassing situation on Ricky Gervais' Extras.

Serena Southerlyn, upon being fired as A.D.A. from Law & Order, wondering if it was "because I'm a lesbian?" Say wha? Not only was this plot thread never established or explored, according to the Law & Order crime scene photos book I received as a gift, this was not part of Serena's original character bio.

The fact that the American version of The Office is funny is remarkable because most stuff on TV nowadays isn't. That the show actually comes close to (but does not match) it's British predecessor is amazing. I love this show. But fave moment? It's a toss-up between Michael's gun threat at improv class or Dwight showing his "physical dominance of the office" at the dojo.

That said, Arrested Development was still the best thing on TV, and who could forget the moment where awkward, cousin-loving teen George Michael grappled aloud with Maeby dating rival Steve Holt: "What a fun, sexy time for you." Screw you Fox for cancelling it.

Jack Bauer's idea of "buying some time" involving holding up a convenience store at gunpoint, around hour 3 of his latest circadian ordeal.

Printed Words

Having gone another year without reading the Da Vinci Code. The streak continues!

Realizing in Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go that something extremely shady is going on at the boarding school, but also that the students might just be OK with that.

Any moment with Vinculus in Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norrell.

This doesn't exactly fit the list, but it's about a book, so: hearing my co-worker describe how she saw one woman reading the same book all summer long on the bus to work. That book? The Neverending Story.

Monday, December 12, 2005

You had me at "Does it come in black?"

In keeping with my patented Reflections on a Semester at Law School, (previous incarnations here and here) I give you the half way mark:

1. Whoever said that second year law was far easier than the first year is either a) a liar or b) ... no, they just lied.

2. If you've ever bought a textbook for a course and then realized you only were assigned a handful of chapters, feeling slighted that you didn't get the book's full value, then take Tax. And enjoy your reading.

3. Secured Transactions is both a needlessly complicated course on the subject of the priority of creditors that will demand hours of constant attention and study, and it also can be summed up in just four words: first come first served.

4. If you're a jury foreman in a criminal trial, don't cough when reading out a verdict of guilty. The judge may misinterpret you and release the accused. Oh yes, it's happened.

5. There's nothing more frightening than doing stand-up in front of a notoriously fickle law school audience with material you've written only two hours before, but there's nothing as satisfying as when they actually laugh.

6. A "morning class" is a bit of a misnomer, because the closer you get to the winter solstice, you're really getting up for a "pre-dawn who-the-hell-gets-up-at-this-hour" class.

7. Maintaining a blog while you attend law school will garner you praise and adoration amongst your peers...

8. ... the peers that read this. And then it's a half truth.

9. If you have a decision to make between studying a few more hours to make sure you fully comprehend that law course, or watch Batman Begins again on DVD, well, that's the easiest question you'll ever get in law school.

10. With careful planning and an iron will, you can finish exams two days after they start and enjoy nearly a month of Christmas holidays.

On that note folks, I'm outta here in a few days, enjoy Christmas / the Holidays.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Is there a Pepsi tent at the Geneva Convention?

The trifecta of law exams are over, three straight days of madness concluded, ready to begin the holidays. Rather than dwell on how they went, I thought I could accurately represent my feelings about each of them through the various levels of preparedess and control exuded by Jack Bauer. Thus, for Corporations, Secured Transactions, and Advanced Criminal Procedure respectively:

Calm, cool, prepared in the face of peril.

Less assured. Chances of success depend on split-second thinking.


(I'm aware of the irony of showing how well I believe I did on a criminal procedure exam with a picture of something entirely internationally unlawful. But it's topical, right?)

Merry Christmas folks. Just think, this is the halfway point to the start of second third of our lives!

Monday, December 05, 2005

The latter especially

A quick post for my friends writing law school exams over the coming weeks: good luck (you may need it if you're now taking the time to read my site.)

Remember what The Firm taught us. It's not the law school exams that'll kill you, it's prying into the organized crime connections of law firm whose partners have a habit of mysteriously dying, in spite of the wealth and power they offer you to turn a blind eye.

And Wilford Brimley.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Generation antiquated

Three awesome things I heard on TV yesterday:

1. TV Weatherman: "It's begun snowing in the Lower Mainland, and we'll be tracking the storm's progress throughout the day because, as Kiefer Sutherland knows, a lot can change over the course of 24 hours."

2. Donald Trump: "Today you'll be marketing a new product from Microsoft. It's great because it works."

3. Commercial: "Come celebrate a Victorian Christmas with us at our annual fair, with over 500 historically-themed booths. Visit the Pepsi tent for your chance to win a trip to New York."